Regular Season Finale + Week 13 Recap

After a few weeks of themed emails, we return to our normal categories. 

This is also your reminder to play any Rams or Raiders for tonight’s TNF game.

I’ll mention it below but I thought this needs to be prefaced – this is a divisional matchup as well as the season finale. It may behoove you to check the schedule and even check the previous weeks’ players used. 

Finally, we had too many empty lineups last week. I understand some teams may be eliminated already, but don’t you think it would be fun to play spoiler against a would-be playoff hopeful? Let’s finish the season one a high note! Good luck! 

Highest Scorer:

The Kingpins of Crime (170.52): If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, did it really fall? If The Kingpins put up a score that would beat anyone else in the league, but they played a blank lineup, does it matter? The answer is yes- it does. We can almost think of Tosh’s lineup like a Pincer maneuver that Hannibal might’ve used in the Carthaginean wars of yore. Our flanks are comprised of MVP-front runner, Mahomes and the dominant defense of Cleveland. Combining for just over 50 points, they are able to swat the opponent with force leaving them weakened. The fist to drive up the enemy’s front is a veritable wall of points: Samaje Perine, DeVonta Smith, Garrett Wilson, and Tyreek Hill combined for 100 points. This elite regiment could easily cover up for the busts of Chubb and Kittle (who would’ve normally done so much better!). The rub? HTTWFT could not muster a roster and thus this served as a flex for the Kingpins while they prepare for the season ender this week. 

Biggest Blowout

Inches, from 4th and Inches v  why am I still doing this (81.68):  These two division winners dueled it out and one was a decisive victor. On one hand you have Sarah and the why’s, who are in a must-win scenario with the Kingpins having completed a very impressive second half streak. On the other hand, you have Daniel’s Inches, who have more or less locked up the division (Dirty Mike is just nipping at his heels, but that’s about all). In any case, Daniel got bit by the ‘barely show up’ bug and unfortunately rostered Kyren Williams, George Pickens, and Hayden Hurst. All of them are respectable budget/lottery plays in their own right, but they amounted to 5.3 between them. Yikes. Even Chubb severely disappointed in a matchup that many predicted to be a run-first, keep the lead game. That was neutered by Sarah also rostering Chubb, but the likes of Burrow, Lockett, Watson and the Cowboys were too much to overcome. Nonetheless, it looks like these two will both make the playoffs, barring a last second surprise. 

Closest Matchup: 

So MANY MATCHUPS. Four of the sixteen matchups were within 2.5 points. That is a remarkable margin of victory for the penultimate week of Big League Fantasy. For this reason, we have to give each victor their flowers…

Joc Pederson’s Pearls vs  End Zone Jones: (0.96)

Tee Higgins neutralized and the kicking/defense components were virtually identical. What this came down to was a paltry performance from Mr. Kamara that secured victory for Joc. Allen and the End Zone had to be cresfallen from the first catch that Kamara made, and on the edge of his seat every time it looked like he was going to run for negative yards. If only he had fumbled, End Zone Jones might’ve pulled a win. Especially since a win would give the Jones’ squad a better shot at the playoffs. 

Jalen Hurts Better Be Good Or Else vs  Women in S.P.O.R.T.S: (0.88)

This matchup and the fourth matchup mentioned here are linked. The Ghosts needed a loss from Women and a dub for themselves to be in the mix for a division title. And boy, did it come down to the wire. This high flying affair was dampened only by the shared play of David Montgomery. Otherwise, it was touchdown after gigantic catch, after another. Hill put on a clinic and may just break the season receiving record if he can continue to explode. Meanwhile, Joe and the Jalen’s got to sit back, relax, and allow Joe Cool bring in the win. That being said, three Cowboys helped determine the result. CeeDee pulled it for Joe, but had there even been one more touchdown, Maher might’ve secured that necessary extra point. 

Dez Still Caught It vs The Good Guys(2.1)

While this matchup was more of a victory lap in terms of wins and losses for the Guys, Dez needed a win to pull ahead in the Dachshaund division. One of the more evenly matced tilts, Watson and Kittle washed and St. Brown and AJ Brown virtually scored the same. Thus, I put this one on the QB disparity where Hurts notched a good amount over former #1 pick, Jared Goff. Even a massive day from Green Greg the Leg couldn’t save Dez’s fate. But hey, they’re still in the race for the big title. 

Ghost of Goodell’s Past vs Heartbreak Tennessee: (2.5)

The book end to the earlier matchup for the fate of the Pit Bull division: Luke and I squared off in a fight that saw the winner having a chance at their respective divisional lead, while the loser would have to say sionara for this year. After seeing the performance of the Cleveland Clowns, Koo’s statline, and the fact that we washed on Herbert, I thought I might as well start scouting for next year. But then a little known wideout named Davante Adams saved the day. Carr may need his vision fixed because he only had eyes for Adams. He had 16 completions and 8 were hauled in by the former Packer. While Joc needed Kamara to score a tiny amount to win, I needed Alvin to be bottled up in order to preserve my lead. Luckily, Dennis Allen foolishly forced Ingram to run instead of Kamara, and I stayed alive. Heartbreak indeed, Tennesee. Heartbreak. 

Biggest Bust:

Kyren Williams (0.9 points): I’ll keep this brief because it’s really dumb. The Rams tried to trade Akers. Failed. Went with Darrell Henderson. He sucked. They release Henderson for some reason. And then McVay hypes up Kyren Williams as the next dude. Makes sense to roster him right? Wrong. Akers went 17/60 with two vulture-esque touchdowns. Meanwhile, Williams rushed thrice for nine. Pitiful. I may never trust a Ram running back till Todd Gurley gets a replacement knee. Remember him? 

Best Find:

Christian Watson (24.4) This will also remain brief. In the last four games, Watson has scored eight touchdowns. EIGHT! He’s fifth in the league on receiving touchdowns with the shocking amount of 25 total targets. Make it make sense. Aside from the Good Guys and Dez washing on their play of Christian Watson, 5/6 of the teams that played the rookie won, and won convincingly. Some pigs find truffles, and some receivers have a nose for the end zone. 

Cleveland Browns (31): Here is how the Browns scored. Hint: it’s not from He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. 1) 76-yard special teams punt return; 2) Fumble-6; 3) Field goal; 4) Pick-6; 5) Field goal. Golly gee – three defensive/special teams touchdowns! Unheard of. They didn’t sack the Texans and didn’t need to apparently. Sheesh. Play your Tight Ends against the Cards and play your Defenses against the Texans. 


This is the final listing until we enter the breach! Some comments:

  • Matt’s squad has vaulted all the way to the 10th seed from being out of the picture just weeks ago!
  • The ENTIRE Chihuahua division has made it in through a deep season winning streak.
  • The Good Guys have essentially stayed in the driver’s seat with his best buds Skid Marks or Freak of Nature for the entire league. 
  • Somehow, my division rep. has usurped the 7th seed from Bob Barker.
  • The last week is the divisional finale is here and will shake things up quite a bit! 
  1. The Good Guys
  2. Skid Marks
  3. Joc Pederson’s Pearls
  4. why am I still doing this
  5. Mills Thrills
  6. Inches, from 4th and Inches
  7. Women in S.P.O.R.T.S
  8. Bob Barker’s House of Pain
  9. Freak of Nature
  10. Southport Corridor Strawberry Samoyedes
  11. The Kingpins of Crime
  12. Dez Still Caugh It
  13. MooseNOAntlers
  14. Southport Skegs

That’s it! Have a great rest of your week and I hope you enjoyed the write-up. 

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