Well that’s a wrap for Week 1, and, wow, did the NFL live up to expectations. From a Fantasy bonanza tilt between the Dolphins and Chargers, a surprise Monday Night comeback, and a shutout by the Cowboys, there was no shortage of great football. In any case, it was great to see a full slate of lineups, with only one ‘all-afternoon’ submission.
New members, this is a feature we’ve implemented from the start: the weekly write-ups. Essentially I give out some weekly awards to summarize the week in our league. Enjoy and good luck next week!
Highest Scorer: The Score-Box Munchers (142.24 points)
Connor texted me right around 11:45 AM on Sunday and said that he forgot to set a lineup and will be playing only afternoon players. He was golfing. When I noticed that he would be so limited and that he was facing the fantasy titan Freak of Nature, I thought most certainly that The Munchers were in for a week one loss. How wrong I was, though. A pair of so-so running back performances by Herbert and Stevenson made for a solid foundation for his 142 points. However, it was the genius triple stack of Tua, Tyreek, and Sanders the kicker that counted for over half of his entire score. Truly, the Dolphins’ week one air-out offense was the Sunday standout for me. I have a feeling that Tua/Tyreek is a name pairing we’ll be saying a lot this year. Don’t sleep on Sel’s Freaks though. They’ll come back with a vengence.
Honorable mentions: The Realest (123.54 points) and Just Setting Lineups So I Don’t Get Fined (120.36 points)
Biggest Blowout: She Sucks My Boswell vs Jalen “oh god yes it” Hurts (65.84 points)
When you account for just the margin of victory that Kenneth took over Joe, that alone would have beat five different teams. This was a resounding defeat for the Jalen Hurts‘ of massive proportions. The Boswells didn’t even have a true breakout on their team. Instead, they simply relied on seven of their possivle nine positions to tally double digits. The Boswells even weathered the storm of a lackluster Lamar performance of just 6.56 points. It’s worth remembering how game-breaking Lamar was in his unanimous MVP season in 2019, but the year is now 2023! Time will tell if he can return to that level.
But enough about The Boswells roster, lets take a gander at the trash heap of Joe’s roster. The inverse of Kenneth’s roster, Joe only had 2 out of 7 positions who eclipsed double digits: Goff and the Atlanta defense. To break it down even further, he rostered two goose eggs and three players with 5 or fewer points. One player in particular, Kadarious Toney, put up perhaps the single worst wide receiver outing I’ve ever witnessed as a football fan. His three wideouts combined for a singular point. Just brutal. But I don’t totally blame the Jalen Hurts for this roster. This was a budget gamble and it didn’t pay off this time. Joe is a gamer though, expect him to bounce back in coming weeks.
Honorable mentions: The Realest vs Scrantonicity 5 (60.92 points)
Closest Matchup: Women in S.P.O.R.T.S vs The Good Guys (6.8)
6.8 points isn’t even close to the narrowest margin of victory, but there is an interesting story to tell here. Both squads put up extremely solid starts with their running backs and quarterbacks. Their kickers and defenses even performed solidly. However, this closest matchup tells the tale of the subsequent two categories. While Brooke opted for the needle in the haystack in the name of Puka Nacua, Zane went for the potential breakout of Drake London. London went #8 in the draft. Puka went 171 picks later the following year. You can see for yourself how week 1 panned out for these two. Interestingly, both teams selected a Jags wideout and both of those decisions paid out well. The only other appreciable difference comes in tight end selection with an unexpected five point swing in favor of The Good Guys. As stated above, 6.8 points isn’t an insurmountable gulf, but when one of your players doesn’t give you anything, it feels like a missed opportunity. Well won, Women; and best of luck next week, Guys.
Biggest Find: Puka Nacua (21.9 points)
This is the pure embodiment of this award. If you can credibly tell me Puka was on your radar before Sunday afternoon, I may Venmo you cash. There’s no chance anyone had a clue who this 5th round rookie was. That is, anyone except for the Women in S.P.O.R.T.S. They read that Kupp was out and read the tea leaves like a Dr. Suess book. Obviously Puka Nacua would haul in 10 catches on 15 targets for a cool 119 yards. He even left a touchdown on the ground with a near miss. I’d be shocked if there was a higher targeted wideout on the waiver wire. I told Brooke and the Women in S.P.O.R.T.S that if he got more than 7 fantasy points he would be the “Best Find” and he decided to triple that line. Is this a breakout or a blip for the rookie? Time will tell, but I predict I’ll see at least one Puka on the Week 2 rosters.
Biggest Bust: Drake London (0 points)
There were a few choices here. Kadarious Toney would be accurate and well deserved. Tyler Lockett was knocked out with a possible concussion. But I feel it only right to grant this prestigious award to second year wide Mr. London. Under Arthur Smith’s regime as head coach of the Falcons, there have been three first round draft picks: Kyle Pitts, Drake London, and Bijan Robinson. All were picked in the top ten. But it doesn’t feel like Smtih knows this! Kyle Pitts has been a perennial Fantasy disappoinment for his average draft price, London didn’t stand out much last year. And Tyler Allgier and Robinson basically split carries this week! Five teams rostered Drake London and they all felt the 0 that he put up. However it might not be all his fault, he only had one look out of Ridder’s 18 throws. However this had minimal impact on matchups, because 3/5 teams ended up winning.
Weekly Oddity:
In a stroke of pure incompetence on the veterans of this league, all of the newcomers beat the old guard (including yours truly).
That’s all for this week! Good luck and have a great day!
