Week 13 Rosters and Scores

Hi all, here’re the results for week 13. With one week of regular season left, I thought I’d give the playoff picture. As a reminder the tie-breaking system is overall record, divisional record, then points. Hence, next week will be MASSIVELY important for those teams on the outside looking in. Some teams secured their spots weeks ago but other teams are barely holding on to their spot. Furthermore, teams who are eliminated (yours truly) can play spoiler or go for the overall points total title. Some teams who are just out of the playoff picture are Dak Me Goff, Jewish McCaffreys, or Min’s Mannschaft.

Anyway – your regularly scheduled write-up.

Highest Score

Dez Still Caught It (166.82). Well folks, touchdowns are back on the menu. And not those 1 yard screens to What’s his name. No, fantasy returned to normalcy for at least this week. Miller’s team gets the honor of posting an obnoxious score against The Kingpins of Crime, who didn’t do too bad themselves. The key to such a high sum is self-evident – play the stars; play the positional opportunities. Both Mitchell and Mattison had 22 carries while Godwin had 15 catches. This was a recipe Martha Stewart would’ve been proud of. To top it all off, Miller played the #2 QB on the week after a string of lackluster outings. However, something about Brady vs the Falcons just seems right. With this win, the ‘Still Caught It’ gang retook the division lead in a Grumpy division that has boasted quite the fight for first. Well done. 

Biggest Blowout

Tight Ends Only  vs Deshaun in the Wind

Charlie’s team put the whoop on Luke’s this week. Granted, Luke rested his laurels on a Mac Jones MNF game where he threw for an almost record breaking few attempts. Furthermore, Luke decided that maybe the news was wrong! Maybe Darrell Henderson does suit up! An I’ll-advised play of Mecole Hardman rounded up the shoddy lineup and let Tight Ends Only do the work. Despite Knox being a relative disappointment, Josh Reynolds turned out to be a savvy play. And Kupp continues to do Kupp things for Charlie, a Rams fan himself. This team also smartly rostered Brady during his 4 TD performance all to total 133.82 points. I can’t believe I had to type 0.46 points in a real roster spot. Good for Mac, and good for Tight Ends Only who secured their playoff spot (for now) with this win. 

Closest Match

why am i doing this vs Judge Jeudy

Coming into the week, each of these opponents led their division. Both had serious playoff aspirations with Sarah’s impressive 8-5 overall record and David’s league-tying 4-1 divisional record. This was probably a must win game for both if they wanted to snatch up a playoff berth. Seeing as they only washed out on the Eagles D play, this was a very even matchup. Between their kickers and the WR plays of Cooks and OBJ, the two teams basically are even. While Sarah played the backups – Pollard and Mattison, David rostered the first year running backs Elijah Mitchell and Javonte Williams. That being said, Judge Jeudy can’t rule this game a mistrial with Mike Evans and Van Jefferson putting up high double digits. However, he played the wrong wideouts for those teams and clearly played the wrong Jefferson. Justin Jefferson is obviously a generational talent and will be one to watch for delusional Vikings fans, dreaming of so many lost NFC Championships. Sarah, who is Vikes fan herself, must be reeling despite her fantasy victory. Any win given to the Lions is enough to ask yourself, “why am i doing this.”

Biggest Bust

Adam Thielen & Kenny Golladay 

Speaking of the Vikings, I’ll quickly address Adam Thielen who exited the game without as much as a single recorded yard. While we hope he recovers swiftly from the high ankle sprain, that doesn’t alleviate the pain he caused for fantasy teams across the nation. He already has 10 touchdown catches, but on Sunday he recorded merely ‘a’ catch. Kenny G has not lived up to the 4 year $72,000,000 contract he inked in March. Funny stat: Golladay was one of three pass-catchers to record 10+ touchdowns in 2019. This year? 0 with 409 yards to boot. That’s tied with David Njoku and just behind the stalwart Kalif Raymond. I don’t know what frustrates Giants fans more: the mind boggling Daniel Jones throws or the man in the front office signing all of these checks. Thielen scored one point; Golladay, 6.7. Honorable mention: Myles Gaskin who is praying he can cash in on a mediocre season next year before the Dolphins draft a rookie. 

Best Find

Alexander Mattison

I typically reserve this award for the diamond in the rough, not the consensus play of the week. But this was too good to pass up. Mattison was played by a whopping 15 teams. It’s a statistical anomaly but only three matchups didn’t include an Alexander Mattison. Mattison was highly productive on his 22 attempts and 3 catches. He even scored for good measure! I’ve already typed about the depreciating value of RBs but this one makes me shake my head. Behind a middling O-line, Dalvin Cook looks like a star and so does his backup. But so many other players do worse with better! In any case, whenever Cook is out, Mattison is an elite play, cementing himself as perhaps the best backup in the league (aside from Adrian Peterson).

Weekly Oddities

We have a few here and I want to start with the dumbest one:

1) The conceit of this league is very simple. You can only play a player once. Yet! People still accidentally double play. One team this week attempted to double play 4 footballers. Had your keen-eyed commish not caught it, this would’ve been an easy sweep and would’ve radically altered the playoff picture. Instead, the team just rostered the remaining unplayed roster members. The funny thing? This team only lost by 30 points. This would have been an easy win. But we can’t win them all, huh! I’ll let you find the offending team and matchup. They know who they are 🙂

2) Both Ekeler and Mitchell scored 17.4 points. Not much more than that, but I thought it was cool. I may also have that pair in a league or two. 

3) Despite not sending a roster two weeks in a row, Lawrence’s ‘I am the Law’ maintain their division title. Meanwhile though, their points have plummeted. If this team were to lose next week, it would be a brutal way to end the season. 

4) Both the Sneezy and Dopey divisions are sporting 3 playoff representatives, while the Grumpy and Doc divisions are only sending their honorary division winners. That’s parity for ya. 

With one week left, I’m excited to see how it shakes out (even if I am woefully the 4th worst team). Good luck and have a great week! 

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