Well well well. That’s a wrap for the regular season and now it’s time for the playoffs. Attached are the scores and standings. Feel free to double check what I have down. There was a lot of shakeup between last week and this one in terms of playoff matchups. For those who didn’t make it, I hope you had fun! I’ll be sending more follow up stuff in the weeks to come.  Skid Marks and The Good Guys have the week off, but all the other playoff teams have a fight to prepare for! Good luck!  

A couple of other housekeeping things: all the division winners get money back, so congrats. And Skid Marks took the top scorer mantle and receives the $100 prize there as well. Payouts will be at the end of the championship week. 

Anyway, here’s the write up. 

Highest Score: 

Team Blumpkins 213.42. When we look back at the season as a whole one could say it was a tragedy for Gray’s team. They were the last undefeated team and undisputed division leader, but then they ran into a wall, namely two losing streaks that mounted their 7 losses on the season. This clearly meant that Team Blumpkins had to put pedal to the metal. Scan this roster and just about every play would go in the first round of a re-draft league. Tyreek Hill was his lowest scorer and that says something. I’ll credit his most ingenious play as the soothsayer-esque decision to plug in the Chiefs defense. They put up a massive 25 points that skyrocketed this team total to the highest the league saw all season long. Honorable mention: Freak of Nature scored 190 for what I believe is the 3rd largest single game scoring. Sel’s squad was just a mere 25 points from snatching the overall scoring title from Skid Marks. 

Biggest Blowout:

The Vanilla Nut Taps vs Dak Me Goff: 73.08. Although Team Blumpkins smashed Deshaun in the Wind by over 100 points, I want to highlight Austin’s team for securing a playoff berth with this win. The Vanilla Nut Taps made one last push to give their fans a reason to buy jerseys; however, it wasn’t good enough to halt the momentum of Kupp, Adams, and Andrews. Three true blue chippers rounded out an otherwise stacked roster to send the Nut Taps packing and reconsidering their line of work. Austin joins his roommates Inches and Sources as the lowest seed among them in the playoffs, but sometimes the runt of the litter makes the biggest stir. Watch out for Dak Me Goff to make waves in round 1. 

Closest Matchup: 

Femme Footbales vs What’s in a Name?: 3.2. This was a make-or-break game for Andie’s Footbales. And that fits for a team that was boom-or-bust for the majority of the season. Her squad typically didn’t show up, or rather qualified for the category above this one most weeks. Matt’s What’s in a Name? tried to play spoiler to Andie’s playoff aspirations but made one fatal mistake – they rostered Keenan Allen. I respect a team that’s out of playoff contention mustering a competitive roster (look at Mister Commissioner upsetting Skid Marks for laughs), but a scant glance at the ESPN app would’ve informed Matt that Keenan Allen was not going to make the field. In any case, the teams only washed on Barkley and otherwise had distinct rosters. Despite all this, the Femme Footbales slide into a playoff spot by the skin of their teeth. Honorable Mention: She Sucks My Boswell vs The Score-Box Munchers 8.02 points. While this wouldn’t typically warrant a mention, I thought it would be worthy to highlight that the two times these teams’ matched up the result has come down to the wire more or less.

Biggest Bust:

Terry McLaurin, Travis Kelce, and Lamar Jackson: McLaurin was only played by two teams but he gave those two teams the sweet kiss of death (0 points). It wasn’t until mid-3rd quarter that Scary Terry was ruled out with a concussion, but he still had the whole first half to do something, right? You’d think so till you realize that Taylor Heinicke only threw for 36 yards in the first half. What a nightmare for Everybody Hates Deshaun and Min’s Mannschaft, who could’ve used a typical 17 point performance from the wideout. Kelce also busted for what you’d expect out of the premiere tight end. The hallmark of this future HOFer is that underneath, middle of the field catch for 15. He can do that 11 times in the first half and no one would blink. But Kelce kept quiet with 3 catches for 27 yards (the second week in a row with that exact box score). You play Kelce in the last regular season game against your divisional rival for an expected 20 point swing – not a 5.7 pedestrian sum. Even though 4/6 teams played him and won, he still disappointed. Lastly Lamar Jackson needs to be highlighted. Only Rob’s Krusty Krab Pizzas played him, but it led directly to his downfall. 

Best Find: 

Tyler Lockett 27.2: The Russell Wilson / Lockett connection is one that needs to be put in a museum. The man nabs moonballs like an astronaut playing catch. It’s either that kind of explosion or it’s 60 minutes of targetless-cardio for Lockett. Thus, it is a real ‘push your chips in’ type of gamble to roster the guy. 142 yards on just 5 catches is a singular kind of performance. What’s even more confounding is how good Lockett is while Metcalf has suffered fantasy-wise recently. Lockett is 34 yards shy of tying his 1,057 career best and its actually conceivable that it might not happen for a few weeks due to his boom/bust nature. The last reason why Lockett was the best find is that the two teams who rostered him won by just about 30 points. Honorable mention: Hunter Renfrow for all of the same reasons. 

Weekly Oddities: 

1) In the Good Guys v Everybody Hates Deshaun matchup, Zane tried to play Claypool who had already played on Thursday. But Zane did not suffer defeat, as Joe’s play of Scary Terry fell through.

2) Lawrence’s I am the Law squeaks into the playoffs as the 13th seed. Back in week 10, Lawrence was firmly the 3rd seed and could’ve even competed for the bye. But after that, the team went on a streak that included a 0-0 tie, more blank rosters, and complimentary losses to boot. I don’t love that a team gets in with 3 consecutive blanks, but the record is the record. Next year, maybe we’ll change up the rules, but for now at least Lawrence’s team is in the playoffs as the definitive Heel. 

3) Our 14th seed barely made it in with a must-win victory over the Viking-esque Fatal Floms. David’s Judge Jeudy have a bottom half total points scored, but have a league tied-for-best 5-1 divisional record. If not for that record, three other teams would have vied for the final spot.

4) Keeping in the Grumpy Division, Fourth place Flom outscored the rest of the division despite finishing with the 3rd worst overall record. I can only imagine the pain. This effort is only mimicked by Austin’s Dak Me Goff. The difference? Dak Me Goff made the playoffs. 

Hope you enjoyed; let me know if you have questions! 

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