Week 9 Re-Cap

words of wisdom:

“In order to maintain muscle mass, an active adult male should each day consume an equal number of grams of protein to his body weight in pounds. For a 180-pound male, this means eating the equivalent of four chicken breasts worth of protein – per day.”

-Krusty Krab Pizzas

Re-cap coming in late again! Although, hopefully, its tardiness didn’t affect any of you playing someone from the snooze-fest of the Bears/Panthers bore. Enough preamble though, on with the writeup! 


There have been a few troubleshooting issues regarding lineups at large. On a tiny sample base, a couple of teams have either neglected to hit submit, have amended their team, and not seen that lineup reflected in the “This Week” tab, or some permutation of these issues. Matthew and I have looked into this and have actually found no underlying issues with the site, code, or related processes. While we are happy to help troubleshoot and make corrections where they are needed, there is something I need to stress: each team is ultimately responsible for their lineups and ensuring that their lineup is correct upon game time.

By this, I mean that each team should look at the “This Week” tab around noon to ensure everything looks tip-top. Double-check your “My Roster” tab to ensure there are no duplicates and that the players there are correct. Go ahead and hit the “Submit” button a few times if you are nervous it didn’t go through. Again, I am far from a callous commissioner (and Matthew even more understanding) but we can only do so many things that are within our control. This is not an admonishment or a call-out, but a reminder to everyone to see over their own roster carefully, competitively, and some other C-letter starting adverb that I can’t think of. 

That’s all for now! 

Biggest Scorer: Gamecocks (152.26 points)

After languishing among the bottom-feeders for the first stint of Big League, Ben and the Gamecocks have climbed from last place in the division all the way TO……. 5th in the division. But don’t blame him! Rather, give credit to the other teams. He has to compete with the 1st place End Zone Jones, the formerly undefeated Boswell, and a pair of 6/3 teams that would likely lead any other division. In any case, Gamecocks put a show on tonight much like the 11/19 Tennessee vs USC game where the Cocks put up 63 on the vaunted Vols.

The strategy was confident, bold, and unflinching for Ben this week. And perhaps, you’d say: Turner, those three words mean the same thing. And I’d say, yes. Just as playing DeShaun Watson, Amari Cooper, and the Browns D mean the same thing. When you bet against this mold of the Cardinals, more often than not, you’re hitting that blackjack 3-2. Despite Amari Cooper pulling a touchdown out of his hat from Watson, this was a masterstroke from the Gamecocks. Not always do defensive shutouts translate to offensive fantasy points. However, in Week 9 they sure did! Will the Gamecocks be able to use this momentum and climb up the standings? Or is the Peach division too stout to overcome? Find out next week!

Biggest Blowout: Southport Skegs vs Kirk Cochainz (57.26 points)

We’re not counting the Kingpins’ lapse in lineup this week. However, congrats to the Lannisters on a huge needed win to stay in the mix in the every-interesting Mario division. Rather, we turn our sights to the tilt between Northwestern Alums Colin and Flom. Long gone are the days when the blowouts double out your opponent, it appears! Instead, we’ll have to whet our appetites with a meager 60-point blowout. Wherein Kirk Cochainz put together an extremely competent lineup with respectable starters like Olave, Kincaid, Pop Douglas (whose Grandfather is that?), and even Rashee Rice. The real arsenic in this brew lay in Cochainz’ options at running back. Together they totaled for 10.1 points. Makes me wanna puke. Singletary mustered 26 rushing yards and Henderson went for 19. That’s simply not a recipe for success. It truly is a missed opportunity as far as Singletary goes, seeing as there was another Texan who obliterated the fantasy field.

Yes, now we get to talk about the Hitchcock of Houston, the Texan Tchaikovsky, the Buckeye who was promised – Coleridge Bernard Stroud IV. TV pundits get paid more and have screentime to get into all of the individual crazy passes, statistics, and records that were put on display and/or shattered on Sunday. So I’ll keep it to Fantasy today. Stroud accumulated the largest point total for a QB this season at 41.8 points. The next highest was 36.4 from Josh Allen. This was Fantasy nirvana. Two-minute drills, quick games, end-zone looks, galore! It may be reductive to say that it was all Stroud who amassed this victory and blowout for the Skegs. Look at the supporting cast! The only true dud was this generation’s Harry Houdini – Michael Thomas who did jack-squat. Overall, excellent work, Skegs.

Closest Matchup: Love Me Sexy vs Just Setting Lineups So I Don’t Get Fined (5.4 points)

Boy oh boy did Lineups need this win. The former runner-up stands at a meager 3-6 record (5th place), despite rostering good and honest lineups each week. Luck has not swung David’s way in this league. That is, until now. Both of these teams did not slouch on their lineups. The likes of Keenan Allen, Tyreek Hill, Burrow, Higgins, Barkely, and Kincaid were all shelled out for this one. I’d wager that both squads figured they were buying this win with pure talent. Little did they know that the other team would similarly employ a staggering roster. While Lineups certainly can claim disappointment from Brandin Cooks’ 1.7 points, I think Sexy has the better case for despair. Tyreek has ping-pong’ed between flirting with 200 yards and mediocrity this season. He has three performances under 65 yards (40, 58, and 62). Love Me Sexy just happened to select one of these on this day. Furthermore, Hill had to fumble, resulting in -2 points. Those two points would prove precious. Piling on to these negative points. Pickens finished the day with two catches for -1 yard. Again, subtraction by subtraction. Lastly, one of the breakouts this season, De’Andre Swift managed to tally 74 all-purpose yards. But, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll sense the theme. Through the nine weeks thus far, Swift has fumbled three times. Two of those times were this past Sunday. So, if we takeaway a few of these negative plays, we likely see a different outcome. But, hey, a win’s a win. Congrats, Lineups.

Biggest Find: CJ Stroud (41.8 points)

There’s really no other choice here. Both teams that played him won. The dude put on a clinic. CJ Stroud will win OROY and boomed this week.

Biggest Bust: Former Offensive Players of the Year

Between Michael Thomas scoring 0 points! And Kupp’s pathetic 6.8 points, I’m beginning to wonder if this award is null and void upon receiving the trophy.

Playoff Watch:

  1. End Zone Jones (8-1)
  2. Scrantonicity 5 (8-1)
  3. Woman in S.P.O.R.T.S (6-3)
  4. Southport Skegs (6-3)
  5. Freak of Nature (5-4)
  6. Saquon Deez Nuts (5-4)
  7. She Sucks My Boswell (7-2)
  8. Drew Crew (6-3)
  9. The Hens (6-3)
  10. skol go yikes! (6-3)
  11. AR5 Fan Club (6-3)
  12. Lannisters (5-4)
  13. Skid Marks (5-4)
  14. Billy Hoyle’s Big Bounce Academy (5-4)
  15. CobbSlobbers (5-4)
  16. The Good Guys (5-4)
  17. Love Me Sexy (5-4)
  18. Gamecocks (5-4)
  19. Krusty Krab Pizzas (5-4)
  20. Kirk Cochainz (5-4)
  21. The Realest (4-5)
  22. Titan Your Butthole (4-5)
  23. Jerry West’s Office Window (4-5)
  24. Dez Still Caught It (4-5)
  25. Kingpins Of Crime (4-5)
  26. Scorebox Munchers (4-5)
  27. Jalen “oh god yes it” Hurts (4-5)
  28. lansing leopards (4-5)
  29. Just the tip Jefferson (3-6)
  30. Just Setting Lineups So I Don’t Get Fined (3-6)
  31. Bob Barker’s House of Pain (2-7)
  32. Waller? Hardly Know Her (2-7)
  33. Adam Schefter’s Sources (2-7)
  34. Pay Day Gray (2-7)
  35. The Funks (1-8)
  36. team web (1-8)

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