Of the 16 games played in Week 3, TWELVE were one-score games. RIP to your moneyline parlays, survivor pools, and more. Hopefully, you escaped with a dub in Big League.

Highest Scorer: Southport Skegs (168.82 points)

For the second week in a row, Colin’s Skegs take home the points title. A runaway favorite three weeks in for the Overall Points Title and the cash that comes with it, Colin’s team is making me reconsider my life. Why am I trying to get cute with Rashod Bateman when I can also play Gibbs and JSN? We all have access to these players, but only Southport Skegs are taking the pragmatic, winning approach to the league this year. Colin stands high and mighty at 3-0 amidst our 14-week regular season run. The question everyone is asking: can he keep it up?

Like last week, I have issued a hefty $15 Venmo to Mr. Kruse, to whom I say, today you are a rich man, Southport Skegs.

Biggest Blowout:  Southport Skegs vs. Daejon’s Deceivers (92.22 points)

The same matchup from above lets us keep talking about this lopsided affair. Skegs won mightily off of the work of JSN and Gibbs – 75+ points alone from these two behemoths. On the other side, Jake and the Deceivers unfortunately wasted some valuable mid-tier assets. Judkins and Price both have total ownership over their backfields. Vele, Wicks, and Ladd are all excellent complimentary pieces. And Shough might just be the sneakiest value QB on the year. All of them, gone for this year. 

For Colin, ole “cinderblocks-for-hands” Mark Andrews was the bottom rung point earner, while Shough was the only bright spot on a roster that mustered only 2 double digit scorers. However, it is quite the collar to wear, the lashing to endure, the paddle to suffer to be outscored by more than your own point total. Daejon’s Deceivers scored 76.6 points. The aforementioned JSN and Gibbs combo ALONE outscores that point total. That’s all he needed to win!

Closest Call:  Zurich Fins  vs. Historically Bad at This (2.76 points)

The limpingly named Historically Bad at This squad rostered a competitive, respectable roster with duplicated players in his rival’s roster, Zurich Fins. Rafi and the Fins might have been sweating the busts of Coker, Ferguson, Piñeiro, and the Seattle Defense (all totaled for a measly 10.7 points) while Austin’s roster was a more balanced field with 4 double-digit earners and one at 9.9. The contest here, though, lies in the sneaky little backup running back, Blake Corum. If you examine the roster closely, sure, DeVonta Smith was a MNF play by Bad, but 12.5 points is a middle-of-the-road, acceptable point total from Smith. For the Fins, their last player to tally points was Ferguson, who left early with an injury. If Corum could have managed ANYTHING more on his 6 valuable carries than 15 yards. Or if he could have done anything at all more helpful than his two catches for 0 yards, then this game swings the other way. 

In essence, there’s always someone to blame. It’s not Austin’s fault he lost. It’s Blake Corum’s. And God’s.

Best Find:  Aaron Rodgers (22.68 points, played by ONE team)

The most canceled, sealed, silenced, not-talked-about man in football, Aaron Rodgers reminded us all of why we liked him 8 years ago. The 21-year vet tossed the rock for 292 and three scores, with his second interception of the season. He’s only the QB #8 on the week, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that A. Rodgers has been absent from Fantasy Football imaginations for a long time. The magic of rostering Rodgers by Scrantonicity 8 is that the rest of the roster did the work. Players like Henry, Jeanty, Deebo, and McBride picked up any slack that ole COVID-denier Rodgers might’ve left loose. But, he didn’t leave any slack. He respectably beat the Bengals with a not-quite-vintage, rather old-style, new-style game that was 1.12 points off Tyler Shough and 0.1 point ahead of Joe Burrow. 

Who knows, maybe the best exercise for a QB is talking on Pat McAfee’s show for 8 hours a week, hiking the pyramids, looking for aliens, and writing theses on things you have no clue about. Maybe he is right afterall. 

Biggest Bust:  Adonai Mitchell  (0 points, played by FOUR teams)

Ummm. The guy was listed as OUT with a thumb injury. And four teams rostered him, Of those four, three lost. I think that’s enough said about that.